Let’s get one thing clear. The concept of happiness is kind of exaggerated. It is overrated. It seems that everybody in this dog is hell-bent on becoming happy. Now, there’s nothing ultimately wrong with that, but the problem involves definition.
Let’s get one thing straight. In the United States and the Western world, general happiness is usually defined in external terms. Happiness is something that you get from the outside. It doesn’t come from within. It’s an emotional state that you feel from within, but ultimately is triggered by factors, people, and things outside of you.
You have to wake up on the right side of the bed, people have to be kind to you, things have to work in a certain way, a lot of the things that you are expecting to happen have to happen a certain way, and then and only then would you feel happy.
This is too bad because if you define happiness along these similar lines, you probably are not going to be happy all that often. Even if you reach that emotional state, it’s not going to last long. How come? These definitions don’t position you for long-lasting and truly intense happy moments. They don’t, because you’re not in control. Happiness either happens from time to time or it doesn’t. It tends to happen at a roll of the dice or when things line up. That’s how to live your life. It’s much better to look at happiness as a product of your emotional coping skills.
When you focus on skills, you focus on a series of actions that you can control. By being aware of what you’re doing at a specific time and place, you will put yourself in a position to become aware of the consequences of these actions and feelings. By doing so, you’ll be able to choose how you feel.
You’ll be able to choose how you respond, what to remember what to focus on, and this can lead to a more sustainable level of happiness. This leads to control. Compare this with a person who just basically waits to see if people are going to be nice to him or her. He or she waits to see if certain things will line up. Maybe they’re waiting for a new job or a new position to open, maybe they’re looking for a raise or a scholarship, or looking to get good grades on a test.
The problem is when you put yourself in a position where you’re waiting for somebody else to get their act together to deliver happiness in your life, you’re playing a losing game. You’re not in the driver’s seat of your life, and as you probably already know, life is what happens when you’re making other plans.
Assume more control over your life by assuming more control over your emotional coping skills across a wide variety of situations that happen in life.
To get a clear understanding of how this works and to establish a blueprint of increased emotional control, click here. Emotional intelligence is crucial to life’s success. It’s high time that you make your emotional coping skills work for you instead of against you.
