You think about a memory, and all of a sudden, you just feel like you’re about to cry? You can’t help it. It just happens automatically. Do you sometimes think about somebody who said a mean thing to you in the past or did something bad to you, and you can’t help but fill up with rage?
It can get so bad that you’re just shaking in anger. You find yourself in social situations where people look at you a certain way, and you can’t help but want to smack them across the face.
Welcome to the world of toxic emotions.
Most people can deal with these toxic emotions and not take actions that they will come to regret later on. That’s the good news. The bad news is that it’s like falling on a grenade. Eventually, the grenade will blow up, and it will burn deep down inside.
Is that a better way to deal with toxic emotions? Well, please understand that this is not necessary. When you think about your ex-girlfriend who cheated with your best friend behind your back and told everybody about it, you don’t necessarily have to feel a sense of shame, embarrassment, and the overall aching need to exact revenge. You don’t have to do that. That doesn’t necessarily have to flow from that memory. Just because you think about certain things in your life doesn’t mean they have to consume you or trigger negative emotions.
Did you know that toxic emotions can be controlled with one simple change? Before I get to that simple solution, let me explain to you how you develop toxic emotions in the first place.
Of all the things that you can remember about your ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, whatever, you pick certain memories. You can choose to pick other things. Of those things that you remember, you choose certain interpretations. All of this is obvious, you can choose to interpret or analyze those memories a certain way. It doesn’t have to lead to you feeling up with anger, feeling hopeless, embarrassed, and humiliated. You don’t have to go through the normal range of reactions that you’ve grown accustomed to. You can choose a different path. But understand that it’s all choice, and that’s where I’d like you to focus on.
You can choose your memories, as you can also choose how to interpret them and respond to them. Know that’s very hard at first, it’s like trying to stop a roller-coaster after it has reached the peak of the tracks and starts to fall at full speed. But the more you do it, the better you get at it. Let’s put it this way: the more you try, the less toxic your emotional states become. Eventually, you reach a tipping point where you no longer have to feel bad about other people, yourself, and life in general.
